Domestic Violence Facts & Myths
We need to talk about domestic violence
Attitudes that blame survivors for abuse make it hard for survivors to leave.
Be careful in how you talk about domestic violence.
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When survivors feel hopeless or that no one will believe them, it makes it very hard to reach out for support.
A support system is a very important part of leaving and staying away from harmful relationships.
MYTH: Domestic violence is a private family matter.
FACT: Domestic Violence is everyone’s business. Keeping domestic violence secret helps no one and have been shown to harm children.
Don't say that "dv victims are stupid" or they got what they deserved".
Stay away from saying things that blame the survivor.
Don't try to convince the survivor that they like the abuse.
This is exactly how the abuser talks to the survivor.
MYTH: Most of the time, domestic violence is not really that serious.
FACT: Domestic violence is an illegal act in the U.S. and is considered a crime with serious consequences.
There are some kinds of abuse like emotional, psychological, spiritual abuse that may not be considered criminal. But things don't have to be illegal for them to lead to long-lasting harm or pain in someone's life. Each and every act of domestic violence needs to be taken seriously.
MYTH: Victims provoke their partners’ violence.
FACT:
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Whatever the problems exist in a relationship, the use of violence is never justifiable or acceptable. There is NO EXCUSE for domestic violence.
This is a sign of unhealthy behavior in a relationship and shows that the partner abusing is seeking power and control.
It also shows that the partner is trying to use force, psychological, or emotional abuse to get their wants met in the relationship.
Abusers usually don't attack their bosses or people they respect, even when those people upset or insult them.
MYTH: Domestic violence is an impulse control or anger management problem.
FACT: Abusers act deliberately and with forethought. They have limits, and may not put bruises in a place where family or friends could see them. They may not make belittling comments in front of family and friends. That is not by accident.
They make a choice of where, how, and whom to harm. For example, an abuser will selectively batter his wife but not his boss or police.
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MYTH: Women are just as violent as men in relationships.
FACT: Domestic violence can occur between any 2 people in an intimate situation, but based on stats men are more likely to be the perpetrators of violence.
Individual women can be as violent as individual men. What we know from current statistics indicate that men and women have something in common. They experience intimate and family violence at the hands of men at a greater rate.
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Male victims of domestic violence should be supported, protected and treated compassionately.
Supporting male victims should not be used to undermine women who experience abuse, support for victims should be inclusive. We recognize the abuse that people go through without comparing their struggles.
Only 34%
of people who are injured
by intimate partner
violence seek medical care for their injuries.
40%-60%
of IPV survivors lose their jobs for reasons related to intimate partner violence.
children are exposed to domestic violence each year, and 90% of these children are eye witnesses to domestic violence.
1 in 15
MYTH: Domestic violence is bad but it happens in other places. It doesn’t happen in my community, my neighborhood, my culture, my religion, or my congregation.
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FACT: Domestic violence happens to people of every educational and socioeconomic level. Domestic violence happens in all races, religions, sexual orientations, genders and age groups. Domestic violence occurs in heterosexual and same-sex relationships. It occurs in monogamous and polyamorous relationships.
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MYTH: It is easy for a victim to leave their abuser, so if he/she doesn’t leave, it means they likes the abuse or is exaggerating how bad it is.
FACT: Fear, lack of safe options, and money prevent many victims from leaving abusive relationships.
Threats of harm, including death to the victim and/or children, keep many battered women/men trapped in abusive situations.
The most dangerous time for a victim is when they attempt to leave the relationship, or when the abuser discovers that the victim has made plans to leave. ​
50% of women report
that report that domestic violence was the immediate cause of their homelessness.
MYTH: Anger management programs are briefer, more cost effective than, and just as successful as certified batterer intervention programs.
FACT: Although briefer and less expensive than certified batterer intervention programs, anger management programs are not effective to address the deep-rooted issues of batterers. Anger is only
According to The National Domestic Violence Hotline, "Anger management focuses on that person’s inability to control their anger and what triggers these emotions, and this can be counterproductive for an abusive partner. Examining what triggers their anger can reinforce the idea that the victim is responsible for the violence. This takes the abuser off the hook for their actions.
Anger management courses do not address issues of power and control within a relationship, which are the source of domestic violence. A better option would be an intervention program that does focus on these issues, which are often referred to as Batterer Intervention & Prevention Programs (or BIPPs)."